Time and again throughout this study we have noted that our author differentiates between the roles of husband and wife in the home and of men and women in the church. Such a distinction presupposes that the church functions more like a service organization than like a family. In a service organization, roles are assigned on the basis of competence, irrespective of gender. In a family, however, it is different. Certain basic roles are determined by gender. A man is called to serve as a father and a woman as a mother. What is true for the home is equally true for the church. The reason is simple. In the Bible the church is seen not as a service organization but as an extended spiritual family, patterned after the natural family.

The Bible uses the family model to explain the respective roles of men and women within the church. Just as husbands and fathers ought to exercise godly leadership within the home, so upright and mature men ought to be appointed as spiritual fathers of the church, the household of God (1 Tim 3:1-5). Similarly, just as wives and mothers ought to nurture and train the children, so caring and mature women are to serve as spiritual mothers in the church (1 Tim 5:9-16; Titus 2:3-5). It is noteworthy that Deborah is praised in the Bible for having served God’s people as "a mother in Israel" (Jud 5:7) rather than as judge. Just as in the case of marriage there is a certain distinction between the roles of father and mother, so in the church there is a certain distinction between the spiritual roles of men and women.

New Testament View of the Church as a Family. The New Testament teaches in various ways that the church is an extended spiritual family and not merely a service organization. By accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior, believers "receive adoption as sons" (Gal 4:5). As adopted children they call God "Abba! Father!" (Gal 4:6) and relate to one another as "brother and sister" (James 2:14-15; 1 Cor 8:11; 1 Thess 4:6; Rom 12:1). Within this spiritual family Christ Himself is called "the firstborn among many brethren" (Rom 8:29). Believers are called "sons of God" and "children of God," in contrast to unbelievers, who are outside God’s family (1 John 5:1-5). To be a child of God means to have intimate fellowship with God the Father (Rom 8:15) and with Jesus Christ our elder brother (Rom 8:29).

The pastor-elder functions as a spiritual father within the church family because of his role in bringing new converts into the church and nurturing them subsequently. For example, Paul refers to the Corinthian believers as his children and to himself as their father. "I do not write this to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. . . . For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel" (1 Cor 4:14, 16; cf. Eph 5:1; Gal 3:26). Furthermore, he refers to church members as "beloved children" (Eph 5:1), "sons and daughters" (2 Cor 6:18), "brethren" (1 Cor 1:10, 11, 26; 2:1), "sisters" (Rom 16:1; 1 Cor 7:15), all terms indicative of a family relationship.

This understanding of the church as an extended family of believers, led by elders who function as spiritual fathers and shepherds, explains why women were not appointed as elders or pastors, namely because their role was seen as being that of mothers and not fathers.

Paul develops the theme of the church as the family or household of God especially in his first letter to Timothy. He calls Timothy his "son" (1 Tim 1:2, 18) and advises him to treat older men like "a father; younger men like brothers, older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity" (1 Tim 5:1-2). He also reminds Timothy that a church leader must be a respectable family man, with the tried virtues of fatherhood. "The saying is sure: If anyone aspires to the office of bishop, he desires a noble task. Now a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, no drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way; for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God’s church?" (1 Tim 3:1-5).

The analogy between the church and the family is not an incidental illustration but the basis for defining leadership roles in the church. In effect, Paul is saying that a fundamental criterion for appointing a man to serve as church leader is a track record of being a good father. Why? Because the same skills and spiritual headship needed for a father to manage well "one’s own house" are also required for overseeing the church family.